Whenever I talk to women about the subject of romance, I hear the same thing. "But he should be the one to
be romantic." I understand what they are saying, but the truth is most men are not going to be a romantic as their
wives. (There are exceptions to this, of course.)
I think the main reason is that men compartmentalize so much of their lives. Picture a man's mind like a home with
a lot of rooms. There is a room for work, one for the house, one for the kids, and one for the wife. (You can guess
what room that probably is.) If a husband is spending all his time in the "work" room, he's not in the "wife" room, so
he's not thinking about her specifically. It doesn't mean he doesn't think of his wife, but it does mean that he's not
making the effort at that moment to be romantic. He won't come out of the room he's in, until his work there is done
or something entices him to do so, since men are also very task oriented.
Many women, on the other hand, think of romance throughout the day. They may watch it on television, read
romance novels, and think about ways they'd like to please their husbands. In despair, they will whine to their
husbands about the lack of romance. The husband, then, might do something like bring flowers home and think
that he's got that item checked off on his list to do. He's missed the point entirely and the wife is left feeling like her
needs haven't been met.
Here's a little secret. If you want more romance in your life, you will probably have to be one to instigate it. After all,
Matt.7:12 says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's not a promise that Mr. Non-romantic will
suddenly be showering your bed with rose petals, but it may "teach" him what you would really like.
be romantic." I understand what they are saying, but the truth is most men are not going to be a romantic as their
wives. (There are exceptions to this, of course.)
I think the main reason is that men compartmentalize so much of their lives. Picture a man's mind like a home with
a lot of rooms. There is a room for work, one for the house, one for the kids, and one for the wife. (You can guess
what room that probably is.) If a husband is spending all his time in the "work" room, he's not in the "wife" room, so
he's not thinking about her specifically. It doesn't mean he doesn't think of his wife, but it does mean that he's not
making the effort at that moment to be romantic. He won't come out of the room he's in, until his work there is done
or something entices him to do so, since men are also very task oriented.
Many women, on the other hand, think of romance throughout the day. They may watch it on television, read
romance novels, and think about ways they'd like to please their husbands. In despair, they will whine to their
husbands about the lack of romance. The husband, then, might do something like bring flowers home and think
that he's got that item checked off on his list to do. He's missed the point entirely and the wife is left feeling like her
needs haven't been met.
Here's a little secret. If you want more romance in your life, you will probably have to be one to instigate it. After all,
Matt.7:12 says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's not a promise that Mr. Non-romantic will
suddenly be showering your bed with rose petals, but it may "teach" him what you would really like.
Romancing the Home
But he's the one who should be romantic . . .
Romance is Fun!
Changing the way you think about romance is the first step. Instead of it being some way for your husband to show
you how much you mean to him, it becomes a way to express your love and to have fun with your spouse.
Every month, this site will have a new set of tasteful, fun, tried and true romantic ideas to share. Try a few and see if
you don't enjoying giving as much as you do receiving.
you how much you mean to him, it becomes a way to express your love and to have fun with your spouse.
Every month, this site will have a new set of tasteful, fun, tried and true romantic ideas to share. Try a few and see if
you don't enjoying giving as much as you do receiving.
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| January Romance Ideas: |
| "So much more than romance" |
| ~Inspirational author |
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